onsdag 26 september 2012

return rectum

...

see these scars travel across my face,
and you may mistake
them for a smile,
it is all that
i can say, now - when it's time, i can not say,
when it's the truth, you'll know,
because i will scream,
transfixed by the fear of all the years we where apart,
close your thoughts, and keep
them close to you, they will save you

...

söndag 23 september 2012

a draft

...
a draft


the blood of christ, destroyed in my mouth; which is empty
the sweat of christ, searing the words about to be said; which is never fully formed
the body of christ, broken in fragments; seeds refused to grow
the jail of christ, consuming everything in its path; digging up its own grave
the fesces of christ, burning in the trenches; snaking across the acres of paradise
the fumes of christ, billowing slowly against a back drop of white; cut up by hurricanes
the piss of christ, warm against my thighs; anonymously and forgotten
the semen of christ, a multitude of fathers; whose components fail to mingle
the tears of christ, welling up as a language; unspoken and brittle
the spit of christ, wettening my lips; readying me
the fire of christ, extinguished in the night of my thoughts; scared up and scattered
the teeth of christ, grinding the knife of no against an old day; a choke hold
the filth of christ, cleaning my wings; functioning
the sex of christ, leaning in; emptiness raiding the streets
the vomit of christ, the sudden rush of feeling; in the distance of here
the body of christ, that is my body; bent down by years of questions
the thought of christ, free of the bondage of himself; a perfect fall from grace
...
Tue Nov 11, 2008 12:41 pm

...

mer än, bara sin, tid - Gunnar Björling

...

är mer än, bara sin tid, tid
som att,

olycklig, kärlek,
liv, kärleksliv, Gunnars kärleksliv, olyckligt - att han, han,
han kunde inte, leva
ut - men
vad hindrade honom?
hans tid; tänk på att Gunnars ungdom var, så, länge,
länge sedan,
100 år sedan, mer

tiden,
som han kom ut, ur,

vilket slöseri,
slö ser i, mycket kärlek, så
kärlek, mycket,
och ser is, lyser, öser ner, in i
Gunnars blick - en nål,
tid eller tråd,
varken det ena eller det andra

vitt vin - i en Schweppesflaska, över i
glasburkar, tänkte ju
när jag fann boxen, vilket slöseri - vin kvar,
tömde det på en Schweppesflaska,

vin, vin och kärlek - tid, vilket
slöseri, Gunnar
är död - kiri ra!

är, och mer än, bara
sin tid - nittonhundratal; förrevolutionärt -
än bara, bara
slöseri, är kärlek blott, och bart -
in i vars öga lyser

...

fredag 14 september 2012

suspense three - continued

...

For the purpose of clarification I must note that Doretea only had her night dress on in her last appearance.

...
Continuation of Part Three.


-"Yes," says Dorotea and goes inside again thus leaving Ottür on the stairs albeit a little less drowsy. It is now that he notices Caron rumaging in the flower bed a few yards to the left of the stairs and actually right underneath the very window where the ladder stood.
-"Come here, Caron," he calls to the dog but when Caron remains oblivious, Ottür gets up and starts moving towards him and it is then that he notices that there are clear marks in the soft earth. It looks like someone has been hiding there. Ottür walks out in front and it is suddenly very clear. Even though he knows that Caron is behind the rose bushes, he can't see him. He starts screaming for Dorotea and when she comes out she has gotten dressed and she looks at him.
-"Yes," she says, "what is it now?"

Ottür is confused and he points at the rose bushes and shakes his head a little. His mouth is slightly open. Time passes. Spit are coming over Ottürs lips in tiny streams. He doesn't know what to do and thoughts of flight forms in his mind but nothing comes of them and the situation draws out in the extreme and when it seems that everything will go to hell, Caron jumps out from the rose bushes and starts running around and barking. Dorotea comes off the stairs and goes up to Ottür and pats him on his cheek.

-"Are you alright?" she says with real emotion in her voice, and Ottür breaks out of the spell, wipes his mouth, clears his throat and hugs Dorotea. "It's alright now, it's alright!" she offers with such a sweet voice that Ottür starts shaking.


(pause)

...

Fri Dec 26, 2008 12:31 am

...

suspense three

...

Part Three.


Simultaneously a mile and a quarter to the south east. White pawn advances one step. Black answers by short castling. Time is ticking away.
-"Has the mailman been?"
-"Yes."
-"But, not the milkman?"
-"Yes, the milkman too."
-"So we've been completely surrounded, or?"
-"Yes, that's correct."
-"Yikes!!!"
White queen in danger. Black knights and castle is conspiring. White knight comes to the rescue. The situation is temporarily under control. Faint cries for help. All night long. Morning comes as a liberator. No rest for the wicked. Awaiting new orders.

Ottür sits on the steps, drowsy.
-"Is Dorotea awake?" he says without realizing there's nobody around to answer him. He yawns and babbles incoherently. He tries to think, hard. It doesn't work and then he yawns again and are just about to yawn again when he is startled by a voice.
-"Oh, you're awake. We've to get new supplies." says Dorotea.
-"What?"
-"There's no coffee in the house. There's really nothing left. We've to get new supplies." she says again.
-"Oh."

(pause)

...

Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:12 pm

...

suspense two

...

Part Two.


-"Get here, Caron!!! Get here!!! Damn!!! He never learns."
-"What did I say?"
-"I know, I know."

A car is coming in their direction. Ottür has called. The driver honks the horn once, twice, thrice. The signal. They rush back to the house immediately. Caron is sitting on the steps. His tongue hanging out. It's like another day, completely. But it isn't and it adds to the mystery.

-"What's happened?"
The moving lorry is packed up and ready to go. The movers are just having a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Kent runs inside and yells frantically to the movers.

-"For God sake, don't drink the coffee!!! It's been poisoned!!!"
The men looks at him in complete disbelief.
-"What coffee?"
-"Damn it! Damn it!"

Kent runs back out and stops dead on the steps just beside Caron, their canine companion. Kent pants and his face is contorted and Evelyn gasps.
-"No!!!"
-"No!" says Kent, shaking his head.
-"NOO!!!" Evelyn screams.

Suddenly there's laughter and the movers appear in the door with Ottür. They stop just outside on the steps, looks at Kent and Evelyn and Caron, their canine companion. Kent lets out a sigh and so do Evelyn. Caron gets up and runs off chasing shadows.

(pause)

Evelyn and Kent are sitting on the steps looking at the back of the lorry as it moves away from the house.
-"I don't get it." Evelyn says.
-"He fooled us." Kent answers, dreamily.
-"Who?" says Evelyn.
-"I don't know." Kent answers, dreamily.

Simultaneously in the attic, Ottür and Dorotea is closely inspecting a pipe.
-"There just have to be a bend here somewhere. There's the wall, right?"
-"Yes, it is." says Dorotea, touching the wall.
-"And here's the pipe."
-"I'm with you, wholeheartedly." Dorotea continues, touching the pipe.
-"It defies all logic." Ottür whispers.
-"Hm?" says Dorotea, leaning closer to the pipe while sliding her hand along the pipe.
-"Do you find them?"
-"Oh, yes. They're here, alright. There's several of them."
-"Thank God! That was close."

...

Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:16 pm

...

suspense one - continued

...

Continuation of Part One.


Later that same day. Ottür on the phone. The dining room are crammed with people. Footsteps sound outside. Impossible to ascertain on what type of top, it could be gravel, asphalt or gravel on asphalt, or it could be gravel on grass. It's just not done ascertaining the top. The same with the direction. Faint cries. The curtains flaps in the wind. A whisper. Ottür stand at the door between the dining room and the hall. He looks exhausted. Nobody says anything. Engine noise. A door slams shut on the floor above. Ottür returns to his seat. Nobody says anything. Ottür looks at his plate. He looks at the object that somebody has put on it. Someone has put human fesces on his plate. It is covered with flies. Ottür looks up and realizes that everybody around him are talking but that their voices are drowned by the buzz of the flies. Nobody can hear what anybody else says. The phone is not just dead, it is no more. Ottür suddenly looks up, smiling. He whisks away the flies and stands up. Everyone cheers and a few even whistles.

It's snowing outside and it's therefore clear that something has happened outside. Cameras flash. "What do you say about this?" someone says to someone else. From a window high above, Ottür turns to a woman sitting in a comfortable armchair. Ottür clears his throat and addresses the woman, "I would like to take another look at the future." The woman in the armchair laughs out loud. Turns away to look at something. Ottür clears out of the room.

...

Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:49 pm

...

suspense one

...

Part One.


One word; it has begun. Another word; it continues. Yet another word; could be the last likewise the first in a long line of words.

(pause)

New section. A word; this one more defined than the first word in the first section. Then not just another word but several. A sentence. A whole sentence. A plot. An intent. A dot, etcetera, etcetera.

New section. A name; masculine, descriptive. Another name; masculine. What's being worked out; a feeling, for something/someone? The first one turns away. The second stays while a third and a fourth enters. The first is horrified. Out the window. Several dots. Everyone runs up. Silence. A low rumbling noise. A scream. A knock on the door. Everyone tense up. Silence. A faint noise of a car engine. A new knock. More brutal than the first. They turn around. Another knock on the door, much noisier than the previous two. The engine noise is clearer. The three of them rush around. Picking at papers. Lights a match. Looks at the clock. Frowning. The door shakes under the assault. The engine noise grows louder and louder. Noise outside the door. A ladder is set up outside. The three of them rush up to the window. The noise is deafening. The door is starting to come apart. One enters the ladder and the others follow suit. The knocks on the door stops abruptly. The papers who have been put in immaculate order sits on a small table to the left of the door. A key is stuck into the door lock. A faint rustling and rattling are heard. Footsteps sound. The matches sit on the windowsill. The ladder is struck down. Cries and the noise of backfiring engines. Silence. The attic is left to be searched. Rustling noise from a big pile of leaves. A head appears. Someone looks around. A voice whispers; "It's over!"

...

Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:05 pm

...

måndag 10 september 2012

soptunnan - en förtrollad trädgård

...

Nyss tassade jag barfota ner till valvet där soptunnorna står. Den milda septembernatten var tyst när jag ställde upp locken på de två tunnorna och började bearbeta deras innehåll, flytta på påsar, lyssna på hur de lät för att försöka utröna deras innehåll, men inget var uppenbart.

Tunnorna var för välfyllda för att jag enkelt skulle kunna detektera det, eventuellt, intressanta innehållet. Till sist la jag på min egen soppåse överst och ordnade till den, fällde ner locken och tassade tomhänt hem igen. Jag borde ha tvättat händerna när jag kom in egen - men jag gjorde det ej.

Soptunnan är en förtrollande trädgård där allt som kan finnas också finns; för dem som letar skola finna - men det är av yttersta vikt att man respekterar de andar som befolkar denna värld, oftast av skuggor dold.

Den aktsamma hanteringen av de olika material som finns där är av kolossal vikt. Det handlar om att ge något - inte bara att ta med sig. Ty snart kommer tunnan att tömmas och innehållet anträda sin sista resa. Vi måste därför visa det vår respekt.

...

söndag 19 augusti 2012

the reverence vehicle malfunction

...

stuck already,
i turn to the fragments... pictures within my reach; they are few, and
all scattered, i arrange and rearrange the
papers on my desk as a means to move forward... but i am stuck

the reverence vehicle is just words on a pale surface,
it has no body of its own,
a coat of paint would do it no good,
it is stuck in its place; my head... i chew gum

third verse ends before it starts,
sentences malfunction,
letters have no adress, they can not be sent, they drift,
i chew words, i want to smoke cigarettes - not only
in my dreams... 

this is not the beginning,
there are no such things as beginnings,
not here, in this corner... but there are no corners,
anywhere,
i am stuck in this... the asteroids will come to us with annihilation,

in my dreams, or just in between sleep and wakefulness, i do things
that i don't remember, i would want to remember...
but i don't...
there is something there, when i am in bed, and under the mattress is
things that i use in that particular phase... that near sleep
phase

i don't understand why i have to do it, night after night,
use those objects, that are hidden under
the mattress... the doctor wanted to give me three new type of pills,
but i am reluctant as to the benefit of them,
i am already stuck with a host of other pills, i'm not so stuck in this text anymore,
it might be

the seventh segment will be the last,
all texts must end, not because there are no more words; they are always too many,
i have mentioned the asteroids,
nothing can save us... shouldn't we be happy?

...

torsdag 26 januari 2012

inte mer

...

inte mer,
än ett ord, två ord, en mening,
en byggnad, tak,
ansatsen till en rumslighet,
något som sluttar,
någonstans,
till eller från,
inte mycket mer, ytterst lite, inte mer,
än en meningslös,
ha förtröstan i detta,
men förbli, förbli avlägsen något helt,
endast delar, små, små delar, av något större eller mindre,
inte mer, inte mer än ett skelett,
skingrat i undervegetationen, bortsläpat av små djur,
inte mer, bara små djur som rör sig längs med,
eller utefter, som stannar till och nosar,
allt det där som prasslar,
rörelsen i ögonvrån,
inte mer, inte mer än så

...