the bleeding room, pt. 1

...


i'm making,
making myself,
disappear,
all together disappear,
i'm gone,
i'm all,
all gone now,
where am i,
where am i,
where i am there are nothing,
nothing there,
i made it all go away,
away with me,
with you,
you didn't stay,
stay and disappear


i dig up my memories ,
put them elsewhere,
with hands that are stained with the smell of...
these are my memories,
they said so when we met,
can you disprove my past?
i dig up my memories,
and put them elsewhere,
tobacco of my past,
running from my...
i face the earth of my past,
so huge


day and night,
it's all the same,
always awake,
day and night cease to matter,
mean nothing to one who is always awake,
thinking, sinking, drinking -
like a king,
thinking, sinking -
like a pen in ink


the solitary nosebleed experience,
the stairwell was like the inside of a body,
the key holes looked like vaginas


a city of one house,
everything is displaced... over on the side,
across the border,
the boundaries in pieces,
placed at remote angles beyond our wildest thoughts,
beyond what can be expected;
this is my movie,
do you want to be in it?


...

photos

...

photos mapping the bruising
of my silence, my words and
my urges. photos reconsile
the gap between past and
future. photos I am and will
be, I shall be with the
wounds. photos on fire off
the pages of a closed book.

photos he is she in a broken
house, in a severed city, in
a void. photos he is she and
looks only at the ground
exchanging bruises. photos
he is she in a cathedral of
half lies; but oblivious to it.
photos he is she and goes
further into the tunnel of
hot white light.

...